THE IMPORTANCE OF COMPLIMENTS
Do you ever compliment your friends or people you've just met? Do you say something nice about their work, actions or appearance, for example? Many people don't. According to research, one reason we hesitate to compliment others is that we are afraid of how they may react. We may not realize it, but we are worried that we won't sound sincere or that the recipient (the person receiving the compliment) will feel embarrassed. So, we often choose to say nothing, even though we feel that the other person deserves to be praised.(lines 1–6)
However, new research shows that there is no basis for the concern we have about how our compliments will be received. "Praising people has great benefits for both sides," says Seth Kramer, a professor of behavioral science. "Our studies show that in most cases, people appreciate receiving a compliment. It puts them in a good mood. We should realize that there is no need to feel uncomfortable. By giving praise, we could improve our relationships with family, friends and colleagues."(lines 7–12)
Studies conducted by Canadian researcher Professor Karen Green reveal another positive aspect of praising someone. She has found that it is a powerful tool to get others to do helpful things. "People who are complimented are more willing to do something for others, like driving a colleague home or doing extra work at the office," Professor Green claims. "This is because being complimented makes the recipients feel good about themselves."(lines 13–17)
However, the researchers advise people to follow some rules when giving compliments. First, avoid exaggerating. If you exaggerate, the recipient may feel that what you say is not sincere. Second, ask yourself if the situation is appropriate. What is your relationship with the recipient? Are you friends? How well do you know each other? "It's not always clear how a compliment may affect a stranger or colleague you do not know very well," says Professor Green. Last, it is always best not to comment on someone's appearance unless you know the person well. Stick to compliments that emphasize the person's actions or work.(lines 18–24)
But in general, both researchers believe that you do not need special skills to give a compliment. So the next time you want to praise someone, try to overcome your worries and use that powerful tool of words that you have. Giving a compliment is a wonderful way to make other people – and ourselves – feel happy.(lines 25–28)